Luminous flames of my love

Luminous flames of my love

I knew it, I just didn't want to see it. There were so many mistakes, so many wrong turns. In the end I was left behind to take it all in like daggers. Daggers that would pierce my heart with all it's hate and darkness. Perhaps I was the one to blame; the one who would be regreting.
With all the things I said to you or done to you. You didn't flee from me, you didn't. You stayed untill you knew I was alright.
Or maybe that was just my imagination; that made me believe that you were their for me.
Maybe I wanted your kindness so much that I would do anything for it... Even to just image it.
You must know by now that my insanity is growing inside of me. The insanity that drives me to the edge of the luminous fires where my soul is bound to be burned. I take it in gladly for I don't deserve this love I have for you. I deserve nothing but the darkness that ingulfs me with it's beautiful flames.
Why? You might say because I was the one who wanted to kill you. Murder you is something only a crazy person would think, but then again I am crazy. Crazy enough to even think about your death. Why might I want to kill you? It is beacuse of this fobidden love I have for you, that seem to grow and grow the more time I'm with you, and that my dear is somthing I fear the most. Fearing I might murder you, fearing that you might just disappear. You disappearing is what scares me the most. Leaving me behind to be devored by my darkness. That sleeps inside my heart ready to take hold of me. Threating to distroy everything I love, even you.
In all of this reality in all of my dreams it was me loving you that made me want to become a better person. I wonder which of us is more insane you who try's to find sanity, or I who does the same?
You and I share a fobidden love that is more insane then you and I. In the end will we be together living happily or dying horribly in our luminous flames...


(Ekkkk my feelings for him are pure and innocent, but the darkness inside of me makes me fear and insane. The endless feeling I feel for the one I love. I miss you soooo much Chris please for give me crazy side.)